The 8 Stages of Breaking Your Phone Screen

1. Cracking your screen

Ya dang clumsy goose! You dropped your phone! Maybe you dropped it in some dramatic way as you were falling head first down the stairs, but it’s JUST AS LIKELY that it fell from two feet above the ground onto some soft, plush grass. Either way, you’ve got yourself a nasty crack going all the way down the center of the screen. Oof!


2. Total Denial

It’s fine, you’re fine, everything is toooootally fine. It’s just a scratch. Barely even that. The screen still works. Sorta. Mostly. You can make this work. All kinds of emotions are bubbling below the surface right now, and internally you’re BLAZING through all the stages of grief to get to acceptance as soon as possible. It’s either that or face the fact that you might have to fork out cash to actually fix this thing. BUT NO! You’re fine.


3. Trying to Fix it Yourself

TO THE INTERNET! There are a million tutorials online, and you’re SMART! Surely one of them can show you how to fix the screen yourself. Alas, after hours of watching people glue, tape and staple their phones back together you realize it’s totally futile.


4. Enduring

Okay, it’s been a few weeks since ‘the incident’. You’ve now accepted life as a person with a cracked phone screen. This is your new normal now. Every day the crack gets a little larger, and another chunk of the screen breaks away. Sometimes the sharp edge of the crack scratches against your ear when you call people. But who calls people these days anyway?!


5. Envy

People with unbroken screens now disgust you with their silent smugness. You have an affinity with others with cracked screens that they just couldn’t understand. There is a split in society and you find yourself on the wrong side.


6. Intervention

This is a safe space. Everybody here loves you. They just want to see you get help. Specifically, from some kind of phone repair shop, preferably. This has gone on way too long, man. That thing isn’t even cracked anymore, there’s no screen left at ALL. Just seek help, please!


7. Acceptance

Okay this can’t go on any longer. This is no way to live. You’re sick of straining your eyes to read your messages. Sick of glass splinters in your fingers. Sure, the cost is going to burn a big whole in your wallet, but you just want to LIVE again!


8. Repeat



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